The Pill

– Hey! Have you already seen the world news?

– No, what is it?

– Look at this! New, fresh! The pill!

– And that is?

– It is the Happiness Pill! They are distributing it for free to all humans!

– Oh, come on!

– Yes, yes, it seems that all the governments have agreed and have funded this secret project. Big surprise! No one will ever be unhappy, dissatisfied, anymore… they are distributing it starting today!

– And does it work?

– Very well! It is like a candy, you can swallow or suck it, and it also has a good taste. They say it is better to suck it so you won’t miss the taste. It is much better than a suppository…

– Of course! And then?

– And then you will be happy! Forever and ever! Every problem disappears, disappointment, resentment, dissatisfaction…

– So you become happy!

– Exactly! It is the only word to use! Perfectly happy! Nothing will trouble you, you will be friendly with everyone and everyone back, no more wars, violence, misunderstandings…

– It’s wonderful, is not it?

– Wonderful, yes!

– But, who would have expected such good news…

– Indeed! See what a beautiful gift, out of the blue? Until yesterday, we were crawling like worms, pushing our dung ball like insects, we were carrying our crosses, and now, poof! It is all gone.

– But have you already taken it? How many do you have?

– I’ve got two, one for me and one for you! To spare you the line. They give it, there is no problem… Look what a beautiful vintage case, and the tissue paper? Like a vintage medicine box from the late 1800s.

– They made fancy stuff and in big style for once, eh? But did you take it?

– No, not yet!

– What are you waiting for?

– Nothing… I wanted to tell you first.

– Ah, ok! Do we take it, then?

– Of course, do you have doubts? We will be happy!

– Yes, yes! Happy… okay! I understood!

– What great news! It seems too good to be true! I’m jumping out of my skin from the excitement!

– And my ex-wife?

– What?

– Will I hate my ex-wife anymore…?

– Absolutely not!

– All finished! No grudges…

– Without rancor! Absolutely!

– I got it! And are you sure that it works!?

– Perfectly! It works great! And absolutely no side effects.

– I got it! And therefore no more complaints… I say… for example…

– Of course! No more complaints, no more dissatisfaction, I told you… Trust me!

– That is, if… for example, your team loses, or Iron Maiden releases a weak album… you do not care anymore, or if the government creates a new tax, you do not complain, or if it rains, snows, you know… all those things… like in the summer, we complain that it’s hot, and in winter that it’s cold, those little things that everybody says.

– Absolutely nothing of the kind anymore. And no more new taxes, no more government…

– I Got It! And then I would not even be sorry anymore for not having been able to complete my studies… you remember that it has always been a regret for me… my parents were so disappointed… now they are dead…

– No more of this!

– I Got It!

– Come on, take it!

– Yes, and you?

– Well, I’ll take it, but not right now…

– Why is that?

– I do not feel ready yet…

– Why?

– I think it’s too beautiful, I have to get used to the idea, but tomorrow I’ll take it for sure!

– Tomorrow!

– Yes, tomorrow! What does it matter?

– Ah yes, one more day… one day less…

– Come on, I’ll see the match today. You too… and tomorrow morning we’ll take the pill …agreed?

– Sure…

-?

– No, I remembered that tomorrow I have to go to the lawyer to sign the divorce papers…

– So what? You will go nicely happy, much better, is it not so?

– Yes, better, but maybe, I thought I could wait for after tomorrow… I know it seems silly, but it’s that I don’t want to give my wife the satisfaction of seeing that I had to take some drugs to overcome the separation.

– I understand, yes, more than understandable… Pride first! Then, we’ll take it the day after tomorrow… We take it together? Right?

– Yes, yes! You’ve been so kind to think about me… we will take it together, if you want to wait… We will do it with a nice iced beer and a chat.

– Exactly! That’s the spirit!

-?

– No, I thought… maybe after tomorrow we could have one last evening in the old style: pints, among friends. And then we take the pill the next day, drunk, with a hangover… The fact is that once you take it you do not drink so much, you do not smoke, and there will be no more of those atmospheres, squalid, I agree, but charming, in the tavern, full of broken hearts, drunk people… all this will be just memories…

– And we can add another one! And say goodbye to all this shit. Come on, one last melancholic and old fashioned evening, and then in two days we will take the glorious pill of happiness!

– Yes, yes, the pill is not going anywhere, and happiness is just around the corner!

– So we agree! In two days here: we will take the pill together!

– Decided!

– Tell me something… Once you take it, life continues as before, or does it change?

– Everything changes! Are you joking? Everything! All will be new, all will be beautiful! Everything perfect, quiet! I have seen people dancing on the lawns, fraternal embraces, enemies who had not spoken for years, suddenly reconciled, and what tears! What joy!

– That’s great, is not it?

– Beautiful!

– It seems like if you go to the movie theater you will feel like at home with friends, even if they are all strangers…

– You understand exactly the effect! Exactly! …Except for the fact that no one will go to the movies anymore, because there’s much better things to do, and it is no longer interesting to hear about certain issues…

– ?

-Think about it: war and action movies… what are they about? Dramas! Finished! Tragedies, worse than finished! Love stories… for what? If everyone has his own big love!!! Who cares about the love of others?

– So even  rock music…

– No more rock music, of course! No protests, alternative visions of the world… As well as no more lawyers, social structures, social classes, what sense would all these things have?

– Ah!

– You look puzzled …

– No, no… it’s an excellent thing, but since I had already bought the ticket to go to see Venom…

– Ah! You’re right! Me, too, I bought one. I did not think about! Damn! Now it annoys me, to give it up…

– Eh… it is what I say… just to wait a few days more…

– Two weeks…

– Two.

– So, you know what? We are waiting for two weeks!

– No one would die, right?

– Exactly! Nobody will die, we’ll go to the concert, one last hangover, and then… Happiness! Kronos, I’m sure, he will wait to take the pill too!

– What could be better? We finish with a flourish! I feel very relieved!

– Oh look, I cannot wait to shake off the weight of the newspapers, my boss, all the troubles, the politics…

– Ah, yes of course…

– I also am quite prepared to give up finishing my literary project! I was talking yesterday at home about it, that I cannot take anymore! To hell with it all! Now I can… I leave everything unfinished and start a new life!

– Ah, yes… who cares if we finish stuff anymore?

– Or not?

– Yup! No doubt! Even if…

-?

– You are so close, to this little last personal satisfaction…

– You would continue?

– Eh… after all, what does it cost you?

– It is easy for you to say, but maybe it will take me a few months… for what? In that time I’ll be the only human being on earth who hasn’t taken the pill yet…

– No, come on! I will gladly wait for you! Happiness is not going anywhere… We have it in our pockets! We carry it with us, always… If we get tired of waiting, we can just change our minds… Call each other, and we will take the pill as well…

– You really are a friend!

– For so little!

– Then it’s settled?

– Decided! As soon as you finish your novel, we organize a dinner and take the pill!

– It will take a few months …

– No problem!

– And in the meantime?

– We will bear this mess for a bit longer… this world.

– Yes, come on, we are used to it…

– It is not a big deal…

– Yup! But now it is better if we get into the coffee shop, out here it’s freezing!

– Oh! I can’t recall such a hard winter!

– Are you kidding? Look at that! Chill gets into the bones! My hands are frozen! They are all numb!

– And so, what happens?

– Increase the cost of natural gas!

– Exactly!

– My house… you know how much it costs to heat it?

– Don’t tell me! I live in the country!

– Government of thieves!

– Bastards!

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