Of the Secular Regal Monarchic & Communist Republic of the post-post-anti-antifascist Era,
Rome – Italy
Dear Dr. Schtippa,
We are sorry to inform you that you were not selected for the position of Principal at the State School for Scientific Studies for which you proposed yourself.
Although you demonstrated an incredible education, a vast and articulate culture in many fields of knowledge, and although both your aptitude and psychological tests, as the physical exam, have consistently indicated you as the best person for the job -having obtained by far the highest score and being in possession of the best characteristics- your failure in the Blasphemy test has completely prevented your possible acceptance for this role.
Ours, as you know, is a secular institution, in a Great Secular Country, based on Atheism. The motto that sums up our one and only principle is: “in God do not trust”, from there all other libertarian and enlightened principles descend, and so every constitutionally guaranteed freedom.
There is, of course, freedom of opinion and expression, but there is no reason to give to a person who does not believe strongly in Atheism such an important role in society, and such a relevant position in which many lives of innocent young people are at stake.
To be honest, we are saddened, and even dismayed, here at the Ministry by the fact that such a strong candidate as you failed to find in himself the strength to curse one of the many Gods to choose from in order to pass the examination. It would have been understandable not to feel any sincere aversion for the ancient Odin or Zeus, charming gods somehow, but the fact that you did not have the decency to blaspheme even the Christian God, the perverse Jewish God, and worst of all, the vile Muslim God and his pederast prophet, moves us to scorn and contempt. With all the millions of deaths and misfortunes that they have caused!
At the very least, you could have cursed the Egyptians and their useless pyramids, symbol of religious oppression, Mayan gods and their human sacrifices, it would have been enough… Nothing! Not one single curse from you!
People like you, dear Doctor, are the worst in history! The worst in human history, we say, and dangerous! Believing in God is an abject and perilous thing to do, and you should know it! And although you do not believe, as you claim, if you cannot prove it with a simple and brutal ritual blasphemy, your beliefs and your principles must be considered weak, bland, your morality appears to be poor and flimsy. We do not want Nazis like you, here!
We cannot take risks! We cannot allow that in our young men and women the worm of perverse theism and religion will rise again! We cannot tolerate what we fought for so long to rid ourselves of, and with such difficulty! Repeat with us, as you did every day at school and university: Freedom is freedom from Divinity!
Surely, you expected a response like this from us, and you knew that you cannot obtain access to ministerial employment without sharing -and proving that you share- the principles of Atheism. This is what made us suspicious, and makes you appear, to our eyes, like a person with questionable sanity.
Only a madman, indeed, would be willing to give up such a prestigious and challenging position, and a salary as rewarding as the one of Scientific Director, for the habit of not swearing or blaspheming.
This exposes you as mentally unstable, fanatical, also makes you appear illogical, unreasonable, as well as possessing an excessive and worrying mental autonomy; the cure for which we recommend you contact, as soon as possible, our specialists in one the many Mental Conditioning Centers.
Everyone here at the Ministry of Science hopes that your talents will not be wasted, and that you will find the strength to leave this perverse path you are currently following, and to find the courage to curse all the gods, all the saints of the past, of all peoples and ages, as it should be.
Best regards, Goddammit.